I've been doing this blog for what?...2 weeks now. At first, it was supposed to be a backdoor occupation to liberate what ever was going on in my mind about people around me. Things that have happened to me. Things that have happened to other people.
But it turned into a journal, documenting my point of view on the world. How small I am compared to it. How big I am compared to it.
It's funny, really. I didn't really see the change coming. Maybe I'm just deflecting on to subjects of the world because I don't want to talk about my personal life.
It's funny, really. Because there's nothing special or embarassing about my personal life. Maybe I deflect everything on to the world because I'm a part of it. I've shown you what I think of parts of us, humans. And parts of the world. Like time, sleep, happiness, style, trust, and differences and spaces between us.
This is the first article that I'm gonna finish in one go. Because I'm finding out that the rhythm is slowing down.
2 weeks ago I was really into this. Updating with a lengthy article every night.
And the next day I would turn back to my everyday life. Become that person I am everyday. He scares me. I don't even know who's me sometimes.
But I can tell you this: when I started writing articles about glitches of society, problems we all face, and strange emotions we uncontrollably feel, (and I feel strongly about everything I write down here), I became as honest as it gets.
And since I've started this blog, even though I'm sure not many people read it, things have got better.
I've started to realise that all this weight. This...anonymous roadblock inside of me, was being held up by all the points I supported, and everything I needed to shout out about this completely fucked world we live in.
But I can't say it's completely fucked up. I've never known anything else. No one's ever known anything else. And, even though not many people admit it, we should be happy with what we have.
And no, it isn't what "God" or anyone not on earth gave us.
We're here. Now. And it could be worse. Because we see worse, on the television, in books, on the radio, in school, everywhere. But we haven't really seen better, we can sense it, and it comes out to us in short periods called happiness.
But it's never truly come to us.
I've started to realise that, ever since I published "Happy accidents and peaceful riots.", my article about happiness a few days back.
The change seems quick. But I didn't see it coming.
I've written many articles. Things I never dreamed I would ever write about. And during that process. I changed. I was releasing everything through the words that are born here.
And here I am. Rambling on about what I've done since the creation of this blog. I'm happy with everything I've written. And it differs considerably from my first two articles, "This is pointless." and "Looking around."
Simply because since then, I've wanted to expose the world.
How different it looks at different times. Different days.
Some days, the rooms are so small. And you feel caged, unable to think or speak freely. On other days, the rooms are to large. And you feel marooned.
You can never win.
So now, I take life lightly. I take out all the twisted thoughts and worries on this blog. And I'm better.
So now, as I document things I see and the way they see me, remember that there's someone behind the looking glass.
Me.
The world isn't stable. If the world's in God's hands, then God's hands must be very shaky. I'm just here, rambling on what comes down on me. The raindrops of sadness, the overcast of doubt, the snow of redemption, and the sunshine that gives me a short period of that thing that keeps us all in place.
Unconditional happiness.
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