Don't fucking tell me what's good and what's not for me. That's what being fucking young is about. Doing whatever the fuck you want. Doing shit that you would never fucking dream of doing once you're a full grown adult cunt. That gives you a bit of motherfucking freedom in this fuck-ass shit world.
If the two people that fucking own you until you're 18 don't even fucking grant you that freedom, I don't see what the fucking point is in living through this fucked up life anyway. Ending it sooner or later won't fucking matter.
Maybe I should be more balanced. Maybe I should care more about making a puny, unimportant fucking omelette to make your fucking arms flutter. Maybe I should show more respect. But I do. I fucking do.
I just can't show it. You see, if there's any teenager that respects his elders a shitload. It's me. I just think you're perfect. Honestly.
And that's why it's all fucking up now. Because you're ridiculously perfect, and that's a fucking hard thing to live up to. And I have since given up. I want to live while I can...which is something I don't think you did.
I'm gonna live twice the fucking life you lived.
But I won't push off completely, I'll keep guard on serious things to fall back on once I'm done with this whole growing up shit.
But I still want to feel alive, before I'm pretty much a dead fuckwad. Before I'm fucking incinerated or buried in a fucking pine box six feet under a shit-stained world which offered the little freedom I was fucking willing to take.
I sometimes get the impression that you have never sensed pure life on the end of your fucking fingertips.
I am one of the rare people that are aware that it's fucking impossible not to get sucked into that devilish spiral of society. But I'm not even fucking there yet. So let me have my fucking fun while I still have the option to be motherfucking FREE.
I know it's hard on you. I know that I do things you will never ever understand. I'm just fucking disappointed that you didn't try the same things when you were young, so that you could at least tolerate my lust for life.
You'll never fucking believe your eyes when I don't end up, washed up on the shores as a fucked up hobo with nothing to fucking put in my fucking dry mouth, pleading you for some fucking spare change.
You'll see when I end up right in there, just as reasonable a cunt as you are.
And you'll be proud. Yes you'll be motherfucking proud.
And I'll have twice the memories to live with and cherish while I work in an office doing a job I've never fucking liked earning more money than I would need for my own bastardly ego.
I've seen the way people completely run across life. Or simply fucking avoid it. I've seen people missing out on the subtelties and the awesomeness the world has in stall for you.
I don't want to be boring. I don't want to sit on my fucking couch every night, watching an annoyingly cheesy TV show. I don't want to wonder how much fucking fun I could be having at this very moment.
I would like your company. I would love it. I actually love it. You know that I've always been deeply engraved in you. You know that I look up to you.
But I know I'm smart enough to do even better. I'm gonna fucking live. I'm gonna live with passion. I want to be with my fucking friends while I still have them. Before they'll all break up to leave each other alone to deal with that fucking fuckshit bully that is money.
I fucking love you. But the fucking problem is that the sobriety of your youth is tainting the boundary-bending nature of mine.
I will do what it takes to live life to it's extent. As far as the rabbit hole goes. Before I'm lying on my fucking death bed wishing I had done this or that.
You say I isolate myself from you. It's you that have fucking isolated yourselves from every adventure freedom was willing to offer.
You just don't realise the subconscious peer pressure you inflict on me. Ordering me to follow in your fucking footsteps. I don't want to live the same life as you. I've heard so much about it. I want to live something new, unexpected and extreme.
Honestly, life beats perfection.
I want to fucking live in the moments where you just resorted to exist.
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